That's what she said
Saturday, July 12, 2003
so this is how it feels, raindrops
on hot, dry skin, on parched tongue and lips
sunshine after monsoon storm and
moonlight after day
so this is how it is
from blank body alone with terse verse
to a pair of silhouettes reciting their own rhyme
like breath when it comes after
a three day coma, but otherwise unnoticed
this is how it is
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
this maybe moot and academic for all those who know us, but let me explain anyway.
when people ask us if we're together, we say no. and its not because we're ashamed to be associated with each other-- far from that really. it's just that we feel that what we have between the two of us is ours, just ours.
first, is the privacy part. if you are important enough to either one of us, we tell you. if you're not, it's none of your business. i mean, why meddle? so what if you see us holding hands and being sweet and shit? shut up. get a life.
second is our fear of standardization and labeling. we feel that what we have "transcends" (ic, it's your word!) whatever definition there is of boyfriend- girlfriend relationships. we're more than that. so when annoying people ask us about our status, we give them the showbiz answer: we're friends. and truly, we are. we're more than the usual date on friday nights. we're brother- sister, barkada, etc. Know what? holding hands aside, we're more "friends" than lovers. I laugh at him whenever he trips (which is often, believe me) and he disses me whenever he thinks that i'm becoming kuba .
he understands every little thing i do/ feel. even when i'm PMS ing. when i feel really crappy, he jsut holds me close and says "there, there, ok lang yan. just blame it all on me, whatever it is that's making you feel bad." and he makes me laugh, which is important. when crssing the street he takes the dangerous side. and he makes sure that i tie my shoe laces before we go anywhere.
he's my bestfriend. i've never been able to use that word save for now. and he'll never be my ex anything.
im over the stage of asking what i did to deserve someone like him. love is not deserved, it is freely given. love is sweetest when received as a surprise. kind of like when you've been a really bad daughter but still your parents say that they're proud of you.
so there. that's how we are. and many more details that wouldn't fit here.
and right now, he's at home. i miss him. it's beenfive days since we last saw each other. he's busy, i'm busy. what's to happen?
in a week it'll be five months of us. really now, we dont count, we dont celebrate. i told him last week that we've lasted five months. "oh talaga? i didn't know that." he says. and instead of being annoyed as most "girlfriends" would have been, i was actually pleased. accompanying that statement was a look saying :"five months? but it feels like we met just yesterday. and then i cant wait for tomorrow to come."