That's what she said
Monday, January 30, 2006
Because IC tagged me.
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, theres no need to post again.
1. My perfect lover must:
a. be at least three inches taller than me, NOT white or mestizo (moreno, in short). he has to be lean or at least athletic. he has to have a great smile (and a decent set of teeth). how's that for superficial?
but that's what catches my eye. my guys actually don't have to be mucho guapito
, they just have to be like this.
b. enjoy at least some of the things i do. must. love. basketball
(actually playing it and not just watching). absolutely no one "unsporty" for me. that's a total turn off, since i'm into a lot of sports. must love food (especially if made by me!) it's called compatibility, and it's the thing that shows if a relationship between us is even possible.
c. have a great sense of humor. he should know how to make me laugh, whatever the situation we find ourselves in. like most of the people in the world, i love laughing. it's the best way to prevent boredom, the best way to avoid nasty arguments, the best way to say things which can't be put into words. Some people have a fake laugh they let out when they're caught in embarassing situations. I don't. I laugh when I'm enjoying your company. I laugh when I enjoy you.
d. know how to carry on a great and interesting conversation. I just love conversations, even the "dead air" that follows embarassing statements or touchy questions. We don't have to talk about politics, philosophy etc. sometimes, we don't even have to talk sense. Maybe this follows logically from b and c. if you can make me laugh and hold my interest and do this via a conversation then ...
e. know how to sweep me off my feet or make me swoon or make me turn into a ball of mush. there are days when i'm one of the boys, days when i need a shoulder to cry on and days when i want to be his princess-- flowers and chocolates-- the works. he must be that flexible. and he must know me enough to see what mood im in.
f. be clear about what he wants, and on the way to getting there. he must be stable and grounded ... i need someone to counter my indecisiveness and fickleness. Ano na mangyayari samin kung pareho kaming walang direksyon?
g. love and be dedicated to his family. and get along with and be adored by mine. how he treats his mom shows a lot about how he'll treat me when we end up together. How he and his dad relate to each other is a preview of what kind of dad he'll be to our children. and my family's opinion about the person i end up with definitely matters. definitely.
h. be a mature Christian and a true servant of God. His physical traits may make me notice him, "compatibility" may get the relationship started. But love of and dedication to God is what will make our relationship last and actually have meaning. He must, actually, love the Lord more than me.>> shempre granted na mahal niya ko diba ... diba?
2. My lover is male and straight (-er than I am. :D)
3. Tagging: anyone?
Thursday, January 26, 2006
This night's soundtrack:
Insensitive- Jann Arden
You don't know me- Jann Arden
A Sorta Fairytale- Tori Amos
Officially Missing You- Tamia
Tattooed on my mind- D'Sound
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Mula sa blog ng aking pinsan:They say it takes a minute to find a special someone, an hour to appreciate, a day to love and an entire lifetime to cherish.
at eto paIn love, use your heart when dealing with others. Use your mind when dealing with yourself.***
so kumusta naman ako at mga ganito ang mga pinopost ko? hmm?
Very, very random thoughts.Kung ang buhay ba naman ay puro
badminton at kainan na lang ... e di masarap
complications. I just want to stay
in one corner, exist and not get in the way. I don't want to care, I don't want to love. I want to breathe and play badminton. That's about it.
When did i stop wanting to change the world? When i realized that i could never?
This is worse than being morose all the time, and worse than being naive. I absolutely dislike days when i feel passionless (word?), when not even a fire can make me shift in my seat. I feel so sapped. Something make me cry, something make me scream.
(The only thing worse is to be bitter about the past. Because then you'd be imprisoning others as well.)
i met up with IC last Saturday at gateway. where are the pictures jill? :D how am i going to explain the way we caught up with each other's lives?
few things changed. and i'm happy about that. :D
Thursday, January 19, 2006
The past days have been far from boring. while manong and i (and everyone else in church) were agonizing over his move, my dad and i had one of those blowouts we always have. it started from a really petty thing ... but, well, i don't really want to talk about the details here.
The agony! Because of crying over these two things, i have eyebags bigger than my actual eyes. But, things are quite ok now.
Dad and I are talking again. Looks like he just wanted me to assure him he's still part of my life. He's been taking my independence really hard. I guess it's going to be that way for any dad. The clincher, of course, is he's only 39, and his eldest daughter, me at 20 years of age, already lives away from him.
Manong and I are still
talking. Whew, that's a relief (notice the sarcasm, please). My biggest fear is us disconnecting, right? Well, two weeks into his move, we're still talking. He still sends me messages asking me how i am, etc. Same old stuff actually ... I don't get that giddy easily anymore.
Ok, i'll stop there.
The Youth Ministry in church (which I'm part of), has been experiencing attack after attack. Our Ate Joan, who's now in Thailand, is getting depressed because she's alone, manong had a somewhat bitter fight with his mom over his decision to switch churches, i had that fight with my dad and Kuya Em is still
sick (he's been sick over a month and his cough sounds really terrible).
I feel so tired just thinking of all these problems we have to get over. It's a good thing I've been forewarned. Things like these happen especially when everyone feels like things are going great. Could be enemy initiated. Could also be from God, just to tell you not to be complacent.
So Youth Sunday is on Jan. 29. So many things to be accomplished til then, I hope we deliver ... by God's grace of course.
I've chosen to give up singing to go full time in the Youth Ministry (yes, as if the people in church aren't sick of hearing me yet) for the simple reason that: I don't want other youth to go through what i did before they take God's call seriously. I did learn a lot the hard way but if there's any other way for the kids to learn what they have to in life, then sign me up, I'll help them through it.
(Ang lamig dito sa office ... sobra ...)
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Instructions:1.) Copy entire list onto your LJ (or blog)2.) Bold the movies you've seen3.) Add five more movies you've seen at the end of the list4.) Pass it on1. X-Men2. The Craft
3. X24. Swimfan5. Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring6. Finding Nemo7. Peter Pan (Disney version)8. Home Alone9. Aladdin10. The Ring [the original Japanese one]11. 10 Things I Hate About You
12. Not Another Teen Movie13. Spice World14. 8 Mile15. Bambi16. Pirates of the Caribbean17. Edward Scissorhands18. Stepmom19. My Best Friend's Wedding20. 101 Dalmatians21. Scream22. Scream 2
23. Scream 324. Big Daddy25. Billy Madison26. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's / Sorcerer's Stone27. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
28. Heartbreakers29. Dumb & Dumber30. Two Week's Notice31. Scary Movie32. Look Who's Talking33. Blade34. Blade II
35. O36. Titanic37. Carrie
38. Carrie 2: The Rage39. Daddy Day Care40. Legally Blonde
41. Austin Powers
42. Storm of the Century
43. Oliver and Company44. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers45. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King46. Mighty Ducks47. Fast and the Furious
48. 2 Fast, 2 Furious49. A Walk To Remember50. XXX51. Beauty and the Beast52. I Know What You Did Last Summer53. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer54. The Sound of Music
55. Mary Poppins
56. Tuck Everlasting57. The Patriot58. The Wizard of Oz
59. Teaching Mrs. Tingle60. Crossroads61. Now and Then
62. Pearl Harbor63. Just Married64. Cast Away
65. Radio Flyer66. Final Destination67. Lady and the Tramp68. Shallow Hal69. 40 Days and 40 Nights70. Bring It On
71. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
72. The Outsiders73. The Matrix
74. Perfect Storm
75. Cruel Intentions76. Never Been Kissed77. Clueless78. Bruce Almighty
79. Remember the Titans
81. Girl, Interrupted
82. SWAT83. Sixth Sense84. Phone Booth85. The Lion King86. Urban Legends
87. Nightflier88. Lion King 289. Little Mermaid90. American Pie91. Center Stage
92. Scooby Doo93. Bedazzled94. Mrs. Doubtfire95. Save the Last Dance96. My Girl
97. American Beauty
98. Romeo & Juliet [the original version hurhurhur]
99. Lost World [if this is Jurassic Park then yes]100. Casper101. Miss Congeniality102. The Rock103. Face/Off104. Moulin Rouge105. Sleeping Beauty106. Alien
108. Lake Placid
109. The Recruit
110. The Shining
112. Win a Date with Tad Hamilton
114. Princess Mononoke
115. Braveheart116. Gone With the Wind117. She's All That
118. Heavy Metal
119. Remo Williams
120. Fried Green Tomatoes121. Steel Magnolias122. Fight Club123. Star Wars124. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom125. Small Soldiers
126. Clerks127. Magnolia128. Wild Things129. The Nightmare Before Christmas130. What Dreams May Come
131. Fierce Creatures
132. Frequency133. The Others
134. O Brother, Where Art Thou?135. Along Came A Spider
136. Annie (1982 version)
137. Eyes Wide Shut
138. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days139. Practical Magic140. Down With
Love (di ko natapos)141. The Fifth Element
142. Donnie Darko
143. Kiki's Delivery Service
144. Big Fish145. Chasing Amy
146. Unbearable Lightness of Being147. Parent Trap
148. Great Expectations
149. Bridges of Madison County150. I am Sam
151. Life as a House
152. Prince of Tides
153. Kill Bill Vol. 1
154. Bowling For Columbine
157. Weekend at Bernie's
158. The House of Mirth
159. The Rose
161. Requiem for a Dream
162. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas163. Mask164. Gia
166. The Big Lebowski
168. Return to Me
169. Muppets Take Manhattan
170. The X-Files: Fight The Future
171. Moonstruck172. Happy Gilmore173. Mona Lisa Smile174. Bad Boys175. Bad Boys 2
176. The Delta Force
177. A League of Their Own
178. Murder by Death179. The Hot Chick180. Shrek181. Groundhog Day182. Liar Liar
183. House of Sand & Fog
184. Adventures in Babysitting
185. Monty Python & the Holy Grail
186. Hedwig & the Angry Inch187. As Good As It Gets188. Murder By Numbers
189. The Unsaid
190. 12 Monkeys
191. Igby Goes Down192. The Mummy193. The New Guy
194. Girl195. And Starring Pancho Villa As Himself196. Valentine197. Wag the Dog
198. Spirited Away199. Almost Famous200. Royal Tenenbaums201. Citizen Kane
202. Lost In Translation
203. Sid and Nancy204. Empire Records
206. Niagara Niagara
207. Sweethearts (w/ Janeane Garofalo)208. Dead Man Walking
209. My Dog Skip
210. American History X211. Minority Report
213. The Last of the Mohicans
214. The Mists of Avalon (TV version)
215. The Horseman on the Roof (French version)216. The Birdcage (with Robin Williams and Nathan Lane)217. Peter Pan (2003)
219. Men of Honor220. Meet the Parents
221. Bend It Like Beckham222. Speed
223. The Count of Monte Cristo (1934)224. Highlander225. Die Hard
226. The Goonies
227. The Last Unicorn
228. Monsters, Inc.
229. Muriel's Wedding
230. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure231. Cold Mountain
232. Battle Royale
234. A Face In the Crowd
235. Tigerland235. Road Trip
236. Better than Chocolate237. Y tu mama tambien238. Vertigo
239. Ordinary People
240. Plata Quemada
241. Dil Se
242. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
243. Man with a Movie Camera (1929)244. Some Like It Hot
245. Andrei Rublev
246. A Matter of Life and Death
247. Metropolis248. Dawn of the Dead249. Ed Wood
250. My Beautiful Laundrette
251. The Killer
252. The Princess Bride
254. Black Hawk Down
255. Aliens 2
256. Breakfast At Tiffany's
257. Pitch Black
259. My Fair Lady260. Monster's Ball261. Death Becomes Her262. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within263. What Lies Beneath
264. Boondock Saints
265. Velvet Goldmine266. Elizabeth
267. Anne of the Thousand Days
268. Doctor Zhivago269. Chicago270. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
275. Whale Rider
276. Victor/Victoria277. Sense and Sensibility278. Freaky Friday279. Love Actually
280. The Philadelphia Story281. Roman Holiday282. What a Girl Wants283. Zoolander284. Count of Monte Cristo (with Jim Caviezel)
287. Brother Bear
288. A Wrinkle In Time
289. Rabbit Proof Fence290. Bram Stoker’s Dracula
291. Benny and Joon
292. October Sky293. Mulan294. Singing in the Rain
295. The Ninth Gate
296. Legend of the Red Dragon297. Robin Hood: Men in Tights298. Resident Evil 1
299. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
300. Playing Mona Lisa
301. The Man from Snowy River
302. Lady Hawke
303. Camelot304. Catch Me if You Can
305. Holes306. The Matrix: Reloaded
307. Cookie's Fortune
308. Crazy In Alabama
309. From Hell
310. The Ghost And The Darkness311. La Vita e Bella
312. Triumph of the Will
313. Escape From Sobibor314. Enemy at the Gates
315. Shining Through
316. Inventing the Abbotts317. Bridget Jones's Diary
318. Whatever It Takes
319. Dogma320. Mallrats
321. Hamlet (Mel Gibson version)322. Hamlet (Kenneth Branagh version)
323. Much Ado About Nothing324. Life Is Beautiful [di ba pareho rin to ng number 311?]325. My Big Fat Greek Wedding326. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
327. Pump Up The Volume
329. The War At Home330. The Secret Garden
332. Dead Man
333. Captain Horatio Hornblower (with Gregory Peck)
334. Gangster No. 1
335. Tonari No Totoro
336. The Fox and the Hound
337. The Animatrix338. Spiderman339. The Empire Strikes Back
340. Seabiscuit341. Philadelphia342. To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar343. The Adventures Of Priscilla: Queen Of The Desert
344. The Witches Of Eastwick
345. The Rocky Horror Picture Show346. How to Deal
347. The Day the Earth Stood Still348. Little Shop of Horrors349. Freddy VS. Jason
350. Enemy Mine351. Billy Elliot
352. Hunchback of Notre Dame353. Return of the Jedi354. Saving Private Ryan355. The Emperor's New Groove
356. Dreamcatcher357. Con Air358. The Neverending Story
360. The Abyss
361. Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
362. This is Spinal Tap
363. The Shawshank Redemption364. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
365. The Seven Year Itch
366. The Incredible Mr. Limpet
367. Six String Samurai
369. Color of Night
370. Prince of the Sun
371: Gleaming the Cube
372: Shoujo Kakumei Utena: Adolescence Mokushiroku
373: The Toxic Avenger
374: Junkers Come Here
375: Big Money Hustlas
377. Flash Dance
378. Dirty Dancing
379. Dance With Me
380. Hero (Ying Xiong)
381. Treasure Planet
382. The Haunted Mansion383. Kate & Leopold384. City of Angels385. The Lizzie McGuire Movie
386. My Summer of Love
387. Girl in the Cafe
388. The Life of David Gale
389. The Laramie Project
390. Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros
391. The Cutting Edge392. Run Lola Run
393. The Safety of Objects
394. Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress
395. 2046396. Bicycle Thieves397. Battleship Potemkin
401. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
403. in the mood for love
404. girl with a pearl earring
405. sex and lucia406. lock, stock and two smoking barrels407. Taeguki408. the 4th man409. all about my mother410. snatch
medyo marami na rin pala akong napapanood na movie.
nakakhiya na among them is: the lizzie maguire movie.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Know it sounds funny
But I just can't stand the painGirl I'm leaving you tomorrow
Seems to me girl
You know I've done all I can
You see I begged, stole
And I borrowed
Ooh, that's why I'm easy
I'm easy like sunday morning
That's why I'm easy
I'm easy like sunday morning
Why in the world
Would anybody put chains on me?
I've paid my dues to make itEverbody wants me to beWhat they want me to beI'm not happy when I try to fake it!
No! Ooh,that's why I'm easy
I'm easy like sunday morning
That's why I'm easy
I'm easy like sunday morning
I wanna be high, so high
I wanna be free to knowThe things I do are rightI wanna be free
Just me, babe!
That's why I'm easy
I'm easy like sunday morning
That's why I'm easy
I'm easy like sunday morning
Because I'm easy
Easy like sunday morning
Because I'm easy
Easy like sunday morning
If i remember correctly, this is the first time I've ever put song lyrics here.
Kasalanan to ng singing telegram na bumati kay Ma'am Emmie kanina. Mantakin mo ba namang kantahin to habang nag sesenti ako over a boy who i met on a Sunday morning, who told me on a Saturday night that he's gonna leave the following morning, who's gonna leave to be "true to himself".
Nananadya ka ba?!
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Once, again with feelings
"For all that has been, thanks. For all that shall be, yes."
-- Dag Hammarskjold
My manong is moving to a new church. Well actually, he already did-- attended his first service their last Sunday. Why? Because.
The move, although infinitely painful on my part, is actually an answer to our prayers. Ever since he failed his board exams (last October), we've been praying for God to make it clear where He wants manong to be. Over the Christmas break, God did answer. He told my manong, in a clear and resounding voice, to go into full time church work, in another church.
Ever since I've established that i love this guy, I've prayed to God to make us the best for each other. I've asked for the time we have as individuals to be used as time to prepare for a life we might spend together.
Now, manong has a clear path paved out for him. He has chosen to not practice 5 years worth of engineering know how and instead be a church worker. Now, I won't be able to see him every Sunday. There goes my perennial distraction every service. Now i have a bigger chance of growing in the Lord.
But--you're breaking my heart here.
After a draining conversation on the hows and whys of his move, i had no energy to go into my usual crying sessions. (after all, we both had been crying while we were talking, me more than him, of course). But the next day was the pits. I bawled my eyes out. And even cried with his mom, who is totally unsupportive of his move.
He asks me to be strong for him, and to be the one to explain to those he'll be leaving behind. I said okay, I'll talk to your mom, explain to the other workers and look after your sister. But, you're breaking my heart here. Don't you know you're also leaving me behind?
Next Sunday he'll be dropping by to officially announce his departure to the kids (we're in the youth ministry). This will be the last time we'll be together as co workers, i hope not as friends.
"For all that has been, thanks. For all that shall be, yes." Basta sabi mo Lord, susunod lang ako.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
this is flattering, but kind of scary too.
alot of people are asking me to sell the the stuff i bake and give away (choco chip and oatmeal raisin cookies, brownies, and banana caramel cakes, etc.). they liked it so much that they think they're 'sell-able", especially the cookies.
it's nice to know that people appreciate what i cook. this is actually one of the best compliments that you could give me-- say that i cook well. but because this is such a big deal, and because its been a lifelong dream of mine to actually cook for a living, the suggestion that i sell what i bake kind of scares me.
should i actually listen to what they're saying? i know i want to do this. i'm just not sure if i'm ready. i've been surfing the net to see the price range of the stuff i make. i'm getting overwhelmed.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Recaps and Resolutions
I distinctly remember making New Year's Resolutions right before 2005 started but somehow, they're not anywhere in this blog. I remember resolving to quit smoking and strive for a stronger relationship with God. The closest thing I could find inside my kneehighboots, is this:just sneaking a few moments to say that:somehow, i feel renewed. it's like i've been given a fresh start. this has got to be the best new year for me. genuine talaga yung feeling ko na magbabago na ako, na bubuti na lahat. may kutob ako na maganda ang kalalabasan ng taong ito.ang mga prediksyon: 1. magandang trabaho. ;) 2. matutuloy ang beijing trip 3. improvement sa love life. 4. maayos na pakikitungo sa pamilya. 5. mas magandang relasyon sa Diyos.
These were my predictions for 2005. Let's see how i fared.
1. magandang trabaho
- the trabaho part undoubtedly came true. i'm know working in the inquirer as an editorial production assistant. the maganda part ... i'm not too enthusiastic about that. i've had to live on my own, and sacrifice a lot of things just to have this job. sometimes i feel that the job's not worth even just the occasional loneliness i feel. the pay isn't that big, the hours leave you detached from your world, the schedule is unflexible (1 day off, no holidays except maundy thursday and good friday)
But it's maganda in an unconventional sort of way (much like me? hehe). This job has me totally out of my comfort zone. I can't argue my way out of mistakes and talk my way to success. I have to pay the closest attention to detail. I have to be a perfectionist. This job is so out of my comfort zone it just forces me to excel in a totally different plane. It's maganda just knowing that when i do walk away/ get promoted, i'll be leaving a much better person. And I'm not even starting on the new people I've met courtesy of work. :D
2. matutuloy ang beijing trip
- hindi natuloy ang beijing trip. pfft.
3. improvement sa love life
- now this, definitely depends on what improvement is to you. A and I broke up, and that's definitely sad. everyone thought that we were going to be together for good. it didn't work out, we're apart, it was devastating. but hey, life goes on, right? i met someone and tried not to pin my hopes on having a relationship with him. i almost failed miserably, but found success toward the last week of the past year.
i don't know if my "love life" has improved, seeing that most people see "improvement" in the love department as having a significant other. i don't have one. after almost three years of being part of a tandem, i'm single. what i'm sure of, though, is that my whole perspective on love has changed radically.
before meeting a, i didn't know an iota about what being in a serious relationship felt. for that reason alone i half anticipated, half hated the prospect of me entering one. my whole singlehood was just an "other" to the idealized concept of pat with the s.o. (sorry for venturing into psycho social theory). and, well, i've said so much about how it was being with him.
when we broke up and i met this other guy, i almost, almost went back to wanting to have someon beside me. i almost treated my life alone as just this phase i had to get over. just before the year ended, God taught me to enjoy my life whether or not i had someone beside me, whether or not he liked me back. I learned to stop defining myself around human approval.
Two words: purposeful singlehood
4. maayos na pakikitungo sa pamilya
- the really funny thing about being away from my family most of the time is this: i've actually been able to relate to them more. i guess familiarity does breed contempt. i think this is actually an important outshoot of the break up. with nothing to hide, i've been able to get closer to my parents, especially my mom. we (mom and i) enjoy each other more than we ever have. we talk so much about so many things that i've learned to understand her. we don't fight that much anymore.
dad and i still fight. but there's, thankfully, none of the 5 month long cold wars that we always had in the past. i've learned to respect him, and slowly, erase all my grudges (is the keyword slowly? :p) people change. people deserve second, third, fourth and infinite chances.
my siblings and i don't fight anymore. my sister and i share a room, which makes it easier for me to watch her grow up. it's hard on my part-- i'd have to be a really good example-- but it's ok. she makes me happy, and conscious and it's just enjoyable being her ate.
my brother is now 13 turning 14 and he's vainer than me. but at least he's a teenager already, which means i can understand him more than i did when he was 10 and i was 17. he's an adorable kid who's the biggest mushball in the family. he says i love yous and gives hugs and kisses even if he's now way taller than i am.
5. mas magandang relasyon sa Diyos
- this has been the clincher. 2005 was when the Lord called me back to His side. It's just such a joy to have a relationship with Him again. To hear his Word is music, to be with His people is bliss, being able to sing for Him again is a tremendous pleasure and to realize, every single day the extreme sacrifice He went through just so we could be together in Infinity, just moves me to tears.
Alot of people say I changed tremendously in 2005. I'm sure not all of them say that as a compliment. And it's not entirely their fault. I haven't exactly mastered the right way to handle this newfound faith.
I haven't made enough effort to meet up with my friends. I don't know how they'd take it-- the bad girl suddenly being transformed. This is all i can say: It's not me, it's Him.
It's 2006, and i feel ready. I'm out of my shell, and i'm feeling the wind on my face. 2005 saw me change. Although I wasn't really gone, I'm back.
Welcome to the New Year!